The Body Obsessive

This is a post about my relationship with food. So, trigger warning for content about diets, body image, and eating disorders, etc. I think I was put on my first diet around age.. oh, I don't know, 11 or so? It's hard to tell. My mother, being concerned about her own weight and the way …

A Dancing Therapist

I dance in my office sometimes, with the window shades drawn, the door closed, and the music down low. I dance to electronic music with absurd lyrics, pop beats and ridiculous riffs. I dance in ways I wouldn't show to my friends or family, awfully silly and over-the-top, arms flailing and legs in the air. …

Coming Back to Me

So, a few things have been happening over here in the Okayish corner of the world. The First Big Thing is that a few weeks ago, I got a random email on a Sunday morning from my ex-husband, in which he wrote that he wished we could still talk, and that he is sorry. Yes. …

I(‘m) quit(ting).

I'm quitting my job as a family therapist. Quitting, despite my fiancé still having no job to speak of, after being furloughed since March (the job isn't coming back, is it?). Quitting, despite the comfortable salary, the health benefits, the paid mileage. Quitting, despite this gnawing fear that my family will end up with no …

Recovery, for me

For me, recovery goes beyond alcohol & substances. For me, recovery expands into the relationship i have with my body and my eating. Having had an eating disorder when I was in high school, the urge to skip back into unhealthy patterns and thought cycles is strong at times. For me, recovery is an active …

National Recovery Month — A Reason to Return

Today marks the beginning of National Recovery Month and I happen to be in a mental space that is just begging me to start writing down my thoughts before I explode. So... here I come back to this blog, after more than a year (?) of inconsistent writing. I can't make any promises, even though …

Life Transitions

I've been feeling compelled to write more — more of anything, more of everything — and yet every time I sit to write, my fingers go stiff and my mind wanders. A constant struggle for me. There are thoughts & stories bursting at the seams of my brain to get out, and then when presented …

4 Years a Teetotaler

Well, hi there, folks. It sure has been a long time, hasn't it? Apologies for that. As you can imagine, things have been a little...hectic. And yet, here we are. Here I am. 4 years ago today I woke up with the plan to quit drinking "for a while." I'm thinking I'll still stay quit …

Mini Check-in: Day 1,072 sober

Well, it's summertime in the city. A lot has happened since I last wrote. And I mean, a LOT. I hesitate to write in depth about everything, so I think perhaps a bulleted list will suffice: At the end of April, my partner and I decided that we wanted to pursue an open (non-monogamous) long-distance …

Moving the story forward

In 17 days, I will be walking across a makeshift stage at a middle school somewhere in New Hampshire, wearing my rented cap, gown & tassel, reaching for a placeholder diploma, as the crowd on the floor looks on and claps for me. My parents won't be there. My brother won't be there. My (ex) …