500 Days of Sobriety

500 days ago, I made the decision to quit drinking. I wasn’t sure how long I’d last, or if I’d encounter yet another failure to get myself off the ground and running, but I woke up on July 9, 2016 with some deep, core feeling that something had to change. It had to. I was […]

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The Big Mistake

So, I messed up this week. I messed up big time. I didn’t drink—no, I’m still dry as a bone. But, I messed up, and it’s sent me into such a mindfunk that I’ve had a hard time processing how I feel or what to do next. How did I mess up? Well, there’s this coworker […]

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Single & Sober & What Now?

So in the past week I’ve been asked out on a date by a man who has been asking after a date with me for 9 years—which I reluctantly accepted and then canceled a few days later—a stranger on Instagram asked me through private message whether I’m married, and a male co-worker at my day […]

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Single? Oh, boy.

  So I’ve been single for a grand total of 5 days. It feels like the first few days of sobriety to me, like I’m frantically trying to reorganize my life without the presence of my ex in it anymore. I’m sleeping fewer hours and constantly trying to busy my mind with external stimuli. Facebook, […]

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I broke up with my boyfriend tonight. I’ve stayed sober and painfully present with myself all evening long. My back aches and I’m not sure where my heart is, but I feel—finally—that I’ve taken the step I needed to take. Even as I’m faced with all of the lost dreams that come with this next […]

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Friday Night Vent

Well, it’s the end of another week, and I am…exhausted? Drained? Dazed? Confused? A little of all of the above, I suppose. I’m finding that my short-term memory is going to crap these days—I don’t think a day has gone by in the past two or three weeks that I haven’t forgotten something, or walked […]

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I’m Smoking Cigarettes Again

Lately, I’ve been finding myself engaging in a weird behavior that makes me feel a little wary of myself. I don’t know if it’s complacency, boredom, or something else, but I’ve noticed that whenever I’m around people who are drinking, I’ve started asking them what it is they’re drinking, what they think of it, what […]

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