Well, friends. 2018's end is creeping near. A whole year, wrapping itself up nice and neat, topping itself with a shiny bow. And what a year it's been. It's hard to believe the kind of progress that can be made in a year. It's hard to believe what growth can occur, even through painful moments … Continue reading 2018: A Sober Year in Review + What’s Next?
In early sobriety, I was really focused on one thing: myself. I don't think this is abnormal. I had a lot to work through, and I was feeling a lot of new things. New emotions, new sensations, new discoveries. All new, at least to me. I felt like my journey was unique, that the people … Continue reading The Fruits of Your Labor Aren’t Always for You
I think I've said this on here before, but spring tends to be really hard for me. *rolls eyes*. Duh, I've only been saying that for like, three months now. It's not just the effects of changing weather, as we shift from cold, blustery days into cool, dewy nights. Yes, the lingering of winter can … Continue reading The Anniversary Effect
Winter makes me exceedingly tired. Not just physically, but mentally & emotionally. I am starting to become exhausted. Somehow, I’ve convinced myself in recent years that the remedy to this is to do more: work more, volunteer my time more, go to graduate school, travel often, etc. But so often, even as I’m able to … Continue reading I am here now, and I am OK
Lots of old feelings have been rushing in through the doors these past few days. On Saturday morning, I got a surprising Facebook message from a friend of mine - we’ll call her Abby. Abby and I both dated the same guy, Evan, during our early adulthood - she dated him around 2006 - 2008ish, … Continue reading Life Happens in the Strangest Ways
No matter what, when change occurs, it takes some time to adjust to the new reality of things. When the change is unwelcome, the adjustment period often co-occurs with sadness, grief, denial, anger, confusion, bargaining, and finally - hopefully - some form of acceptance. Tuesday night around 11pm, after driving home from the VFW where … Continue reading The Times, Oh, They Are A’Changing
Many of you wrote in with such nice comments about my last post On Depression and Writing, all so kind. It's lovely, the support on here. You people are divine. Thank you so very much. I feel thankful and immense gratitude, despite having yet another downer day. I've completed a fair of amount of my … Continue reading 109 Days Alcohol Free: Mini Check-In
I keep wanting to write something insightful, or witty, or important about lessons in sobriety, or patience, or grace. But each time I start, I get about a paragraph in and delete the entire thing. Because while I'm writing about surviving a weekend away with family, or feeling whiny about being surrounded by booze everywhere … Continue reading On Depression and Writing
I think that, sometimes, I allow my mind to stray a little too far into the deep end of the emotional pool. I often lose sight of the fact that I only need to gather my wits and swim calmly back over to the shallow side in order to find relief from my own flailing. … Continue reading Stop Struggling
So, tonight I'm going to my first ever recovery-focused meetup. It's not AA, specifically, but it's a "weekly practice" that is based in mindfulness, recovery & the 12 step program. I'm excited, nervous, a little hesitant, and scared. I'll be going with a friend of mine who has been going to AA religiously for the … Continue reading Day 98 Alcohol Free
okayishness 