Make Tiny Changes

Ever since Friday, I've been enveloped in this strange blanket of tender, complicated emotions. With my own bittersweet memories of pain and loss washing over me in waves, coupled with the tragic loss of a favorite musician to an all-too-predictable (and all-too-preventable) suicide, I've been taken over by some force of tragic optimism. I spent …

I Hate This Disease

If you are hurting, please just talk to someone. Anyone. Don't let the world wake up hurting in your absence. We need you here. 

I am here now, and I am OK

Winter makes me exceedingly tired. Not just physically, but mentally & emotionally. I am starting to become exhausted. Somehow, I’ve convinced myself in recent years that the remedy to this is to do more: work more, volunteer my time more, go to graduate school, travel often, etc. But so often, even as I’m able to …

Can’t Do This Anymore

Today, I drove home from work with a white-hot tension building between my shoulders. I was darting between cars and driving quite abruptly. I was irritated with every other person on the road. When I got to my place, I walked directly to my room. Within minutes, I was on my knees next to my …

After the Depression Hits

I'm feeling much better than I was yesterday. It was like some weird little bug crawled into my brain and took over the sadness controls for a bit. I cried on my drive home from behind my sunglasses, then forced myself to sit down and do someone homework. After this forced-focus session, I felt better …