For me, recovery goes beyond alcohol & substances. For me, recovery expands into the relationship i have with my body and my eating. Having had an eating disorder when I was in high school, the urge to skip back into unhealthy patterns and thought cycles is strong at times. For me, recovery is an active … Continue reading Recovery, for me
Today marks the beginning of National Recovery Month and I happen to be in a mental space that is just begging me to start writing down my thoughts before I explode. So... here I come back to this blog, after more than a year (?) of inconsistent writing. I can't make any promises, even though … Continue reading National Recovery Month — A Reason to Return
Well, hi there, folks. It sure has been a long time, hasn't it? Apologies for that. As you can imagine, things have been a little...hectic. And yet, here we are. Here I am. 4 years ago today I woke up with the plan to quit drinking "for a while." I'm thinking I'll still stay quit … Continue reading 4 Years a Teetotaler
Well, friends. 2018's end is creeping near. A whole year, wrapping itself up nice and neat, topping itself with a shiny bow. And what a year it's been. It's hard to believe the kind of progress that can be made in a year. It's hard to believe what growth can occur, even through painful moments … Continue reading 2018: A Sober Year in Review + What’s Next?
I have been feeling...disconnected from my sobriety lately. It's becoming more and more difficult for me to connect the current events of my life to being sober. It's true, much of what I have now wouldn't be in my life were I not sober. I probably wouldn't be dating my boyfriend. I wouldn't be living … Continue reading Feeling Disconnected from Sobriety
tw: talk about eating disorders. One thing I haven't spent a lot of time exploring in this space of mine is the fact that during my 10th-, 11th-, and 12th-grade years of high school, I suffered quietly with an eating disorder. I don't know exactly how it'd be diagnosed today, but I think the closest … Continue reading Recovery is Lifelong
As we get sober and start down the path of recovery, we grow and often transform into a person we thought we'd never be, and as we grow we carry with us our most painful reminders of where we've been.
They say acceptance is the final stage of grief. It is the goal, the endpoint, the last destination on the twisting journey you're set upon when you're in mourning. Our cultural understanding of grief has expanded far beyond death, divorce, and illness: it extends into loss of trust, loss of safety, loss of stability, loss … Continue reading Grant Me the Serenity
In early sobriety, I was really focused on one thing: myself. I don't think this is abnormal. I had a lot to work through, and I was feeling a lot of new things. New emotions, new sensations, new discoveries. All new, at least to me. I felt like my journey was unique, that the people … Continue reading The Fruits of Your Labor Aren’t Always for You
Recently, I was clearing out old emails from the address I used as a once-married woman. I wanted to make sure I wasn't missing anything important before starting the process of finally shutting that email down for good. In looking around, randomly re-reading and deleting old messages, I found this email (below) from my ex-husband, … Continue reading Sink or Swim
okayishness 