So, a few things have been happening over here in the Okayish corner of the world. The First Big Thing is that a few weeks ago, I got a random email on a Sunday morning from my ex-husband, in which he wrote that he wished we could still talk, and that he is sorry. Yes. … Continue reading Coming Back to Me
Hi all. I'm here. Alive. Still sober. Currently surrounded by blankets and pillows, trying to warm myself up from the bones out as Minneapolis braces against this surprising cold snap. There is a lot that could be said about the past seven months since I last wrote on here in July. I'll start with this: … Continue reading 2020: The Year of Staying In
Yesterday marked 4 years since my divorce was made official in the Denver courts. I was 25. That day in 2014, I celebrated my newfound freedom by going out to the pizza place down the block from my house and getting drunk after a day of uninspiring work. Yesterday, I spent the day at my clinical … Continue reading Happy Divorce-iversary to Me
A few weeks ago, I was sitting in a one-on-one session with a new client of mine. This client came to therapy on her own volition to seek help with her depression, anxiety, isolation, and substance use issues. During this session, she became tearful as she spoke, and I could feel the pain emanating from … Continue reading Sitting with it
The Minnesota skyline of late has been a long, thick sheet of steely clouds, dotted occasionally with brief openings that reveal the sunshine above. It's a good reflection of my mood and energy--or, perhaps, my mood and energy are a direct reflection of the weather. I do tend to suffer that seasonal problem with being...oh, … Continue reading Grey Day Rambling
About a month and a half ago, I wrote a post about how I was nearly certain my relationship was going to end because of my boyfriend's need and desire to move back home to Indiana to be closer to his son (we're in Minnesota). I got frantic for a few weeks, wracked with anxiety … Continue reading Nothing Stays the Same, and That’s OK
They say acceptance is the final stage of grief. It is the goal, the endpoint, the last destination on the twisting journey you're set upon when you're in mourning. Our cultural understanding of grief has expanded far beyond death, divorce, and illness: it extends into loss of trust, loss of safety, loss of stability, loss … Continue reading Grant Me the Serenity
My boyfriend’s son came to town last week for a 9-day visit. They got to spend a lot of good time together, and I had the chance to tag along on several occasions. It was really fun to see them together, bonding, enjoying each other like father and son should. His son flew back home on … Continue reading Nothing Stays the Same
Recently, I was clearing out old emails from the address I used as a once-married woman. I wanted to make sure I wasn't missing anything important before starting the process of finally shutting that email down for good. In looking around, randomly re-reading and deleting old messages, I found this email (below) from my ex-husband, … Continue reading Sink or Swim
Yesterday I turned 29 years old. I had a wonderful birthday weekend, filled with friends and fun and love and delicious food and great music. I am full of gratitude. In a week, I'll be celebrating 2 full years of sustained sobriety. I don't know that it's fully registered with me, or if sobriety has … Continue reading Ready.
okayishness 