I'm quitting my job as a family therapist. Quitting, despite my fiancé still having no job to speak of, after being furloughed since March (the job isn't coming back, is it?). Quitting, despite the comfortable salary, the health benefits, the paid mileage. Quitting, despite this gnawing fear that my family will end up with no … Continue reading I(‘m) quit(ting).
I'm here,still sober & kickin' on this quiet October 1st. It's getting chilly up here in the North, though we're due to have an unseasonably warm burst of air midweek. I can't say I'm ready for winter to make her impending return. My last year of school is in full swing. I am settled in … Continue reading Simple Thoughts on Self-Care
It’s 11:45am and I’m standing at the train station waiting to go to work, the sky hanging low and heavy with the promise of sleet. I'm late. I’ve just finished my morning internship shift, where I processed two clients out of our therapeutic relationship together because they’re both graduating next week, and I’m feeling pensive … Continue reading What Matters Most is How Well You Walk Through the Fire
I walked six miles today. After going to the gym, having some pizza for lunch, and then finishing up an assignment, I decided I wanted to take advantage of the sunshine and take a quick walk around my neighborhood. And that quick walk quickly turned into a long walk, where I wasn't quite ready to … Continue reading Loneliness Anxiety
I’ve seen a lot of people in the blogosphere writing about their “word” for 2017. Like setting an intention and letting it become a mantra, they’ve chosen a specific word to help direct their lives over the course of the next 12 months. Initially, I thought the idea was nice but a bit too cliche … Continue reading Self-exploration through sobriety: going deeper in 2017
“Our wounds are often the openings into the best and most beautiful part of us.” ― David Richo I've been divorced now for 1 year and 8-ish months. It's been 2 years and 3 months since I last looked my ex-husband in the eyes or heard his voice in my ears. On that final morning when he … Continue reading Keep Walking
One of the biggest things that prevented me from quitting drinking sooner than I did was this big, scary feeling of having to face myself head-on once I got sober. Any time I tried to sit with myself while sober, I became immediately uncomfortable and restless. Alcohol had become such a constant and such a … Continue reading 90 Days Alcohol Free: Like a Poo-Stained Windshield
I'm feeling much better than I was yesterday. It was like some weird little bug crawled into my brain and took over the sadness controls for a bit. I cried on my drive home from behind my sunglasses, then forced myself to sit down and do someone homework. After this forced-focus session, I felt better … Continue reading After the Depression Hits
A lot of what I’ve done, and tried to do, throughout my entire life is find meaning. In anything: myself, others, relationships, breakups, situations, crises, feelings, my career, my psyche, my drunkenness, my childhood, my past, my future. And now, I’ve been trying to find meaning in sobriety. Not just what does sobriety mean, but … Continue reading A Rant on Existentialism in Sobriety
Be patient toward all that is unresolved in your heart. Try to love the questions themselves. Do not seek the answers which cannot be given, Because you would not be able to live them. And the point is to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps you will then gradually without noticing it, Live along … Continue reading Day 60 Alcohol Free: Live the Questions
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