Coming Back to Me

So, a few things have been happening over here in the Okayish corner of the world. The First Big Thing is that a few weeks ago, I got a random email on a Sunday morning from my ex-husband, in which he wrote that he wished we could still talk, and that he is sorry. Yes. …

Recovery, for me

For me, recovery goes beyond alcohol & substances. For me, recovery expands into the relationship i have with my body and my eating. Having had an eating disorder when I was in high school, the urge to skip back into unhealthy patterns and thought cycles is strong at times. For me, recovery is an active …

National Recovery Month — A Reason to Return

Today marks the beginning of National Recovery Month and I happen to be in a mental space that is just begging me to start writing down my thoughts before I explode. So... here I come back to this blog, after more than a year (?) of inconsistent writing. I can't make any promises, even though …

4 Years a Teetotaler

Well, hi there, folks. It sure has been a long time, hasn't it? Apologies for that. As you can imagine, things have been a little...hectic. And yet, here we are. Here I am. 4 years ago today I woke up with the plan to quit drinking "for a while." I'm thinking I'll still stay quit …

2020: The Year of Staying In

Hi all. I'm here. Alive. Still sober. Currently surrounded by blankets and pillows, trying to warm myself up from the bones out as Minneapolis braces against this surprising cold snap. There is a lot that could be said about the past seven months since I last wrote on here in July. I'll start with this: …

Happy Divorce-iversary to Me

Yesterday marked 4 years since my divorce was made official in the Denver courts. I was 25. That day in 2014, I celebrated my newfound freedom by going out to the pizza place down the block from my house and getting drunk after a day of uninspiring work. Yesterday, I spent the day at my clinical …

2018: A Sober Year in Review + What’s Next?

Well, friends. 2018's end is creeping near. A whole year, wrapping itself up nice and neat, topping itself with a shiny bow. And what a year it's been. It's hard to believe the kind of progress that can be made in a year. It's hard to believe what growth can occur, even through painful moments …

Feeling Disconnected from Sobriety

I have been feeling...disconnected from my sobriety lately. It's becoming more and more difficult for me to connect the current events of my life to being sober. It's true, much of what I have now wouldn't be in my life were I not sober. I probably wouldn't be dating my boyfriend. I wouldn't be living …

Grey Day Rambling

The Minnesota skyline of late has been a long, thick sheet of steely clouds, dotted occasionally with brief openings that reveal the sunshine above. It's a good reflection of my mood and energy--or, perhaps, my mood and energy are a direct reflection of the weather. I do tend to suffer that seasonal problem with being...oh, …

Nothing Stays the Same, and That’s OK

About a month and a half ago, I wrote a post about how I was nearly certain my relationship was going to end because of my boyfriend's need and desire to move back home to Indiana to be closer to his son (we're in Minnesota). I got frantic for a few weeks, wracked with anxiety …