Today marks 800 continuous days of sobriety. I've got little to say, except that I'm thankful, and a little surprised by how entirely normal it feels--most of the time. Life isn't perfect; I'm still running on a pretty steady stream of cortisol and adrenaline, my body is acting strangely (I fainted last Thursday--an actual blackout … Continue reading 800 Days of Sobriety
tw: talk about eating disorders. One thing I haven't spent a lot of time exploring in this space of mine is the fact that during my 10th-, 11th-, and 12th-grade years of high school, I suffered quietly with an eating disorder. I don't know exactly how it'd be diagnosed today, but I think the closest … Continue reading Recovery is Lifelong
As we get sober and start down the path of recovery, we grow and often transform into a person we thought we'd never be, and as we grow we carry with us our most painful reminders of where we've been.
This coming Monday is the first day of my last year of school. I start my internship on Monday, and with that comes the return to the whirlwind of learning, stretching, bending, breaking, and re-making myself again. I will be interning with the county this time around, at their mental health clinic/partial hospitalization program. I … Continue reading Work, Sleep, and Other Ridiculous Things
They say acceptance is the final stage of grief. It is the goal, the endpoint, the last destination on the twisting journey you're set upon when you're in mourning. Our cultural understanding of grief has expanded far beyond death, divorce, and illness: it extends into loss of trust, loss of safety, loss of stability, loss … Continue reading Grant Me the Serenity
My boyfriend’s son came to town last week for a 9-day visit. They got to spend a lot of good time together, and I had the chance to tag along on several occasions. It was really fun to see them together, bonding, enjoying each other like father and son should. His son flew back home on … Continue reading Nothing Stays the Same
In early sobriety, I was really focused on one thing: myself. I don't think this is abnormal. I had a lot to work through, and I was feeling a lot of new things. New emotions, new sensations, new discoveries. All new, at least to me. I felt like my journey was unique, that the people … Continue reading The Fruits of Your Labor Aren’t Always for You