TW: This post talks about relationship abuse & sexual abuse, and contains some foul language. Recently, I've been thinking a lot about past relationships. Not just my most recent ended relationship, but my marriage, and a particularly abusive relationship that I endured for two years in college. But, mostly, I've been thinking about that abusive … Continue reading It Happened. Now It’s (Finally) Time to Heal.
I’ve been sick with a garden variety of head colds, chest colds, and sinus infections since early January. Since Monday of last week, I’ve been battling fatigue and a pretty intense cough that sent me to the urgent care on Thursday. They x-rayed me, tapped my sinuses, listened to my lungs, and decided to give … Continue reading Perfectionism makes me sick—literally
I've had a weird ache in my heart for some time now for my last relationship. It's not the kind of ache that makes me wish I had it back, nor is it the kind of ache that makes me yearn for my ex. Since we broke up in October, I haven't questioned once whether … Continue reading Longing for Familiarity
I've come to realize about myself over the past several years that I am somewhat prone to a fear of intimacy. Okay, so, that's kind of an understatement. I am not prone to a fear of intimacy--I'm damn scared of intimacy sometimes. I'm not talking about the kind of intimacy you have with a new … Continue reading The Fear of Intimacy, or How I Know I Still Need Therapy
Winter makes me exceedingly tired. Not just physically, but mentally & emotionally. I am starting to become exhausted. Somehow, I’ve convinced myself in recent years that the remedy to this is to do more: work more, volunteer my time more, go to graduate school, travel often, etc. But so often, even as I’m able to … Continue reading I am here now, and I am OK
I've noticed something about myself in recent months. Something that is so different about me, compared to how I was when I was a younger woman in high school and college. Different from when I got my first salaried job at 23, or when I became a wife at age 24. Different from when I … Continue reading Stronger
One of the best byproducts of this whole sobriety thing has been the steady increase in my drive to do well by myself, health-wise. When I was drinking, I'd always claim to lead a healthy lifestyle—I was doing the whole keto/paleo thing and counting calories and running and going for weekend hikes—but I refused to … Continue reading Getting (& Staying) Fit in Long-Term Sobriety