Today marks 800 continuous days of sobriety.
I’ve got little to say, except that I’m thankful, and a little surprised by how entirely normal it feels–most of the time.
Life isn’t perfect; I’m still running on a pretty steady stream of cortisol and adrenaline, my body is acting strangely (I fainted last Thursday–an actual blackout from pain related to abdominal cramps, for which I went to urgent care, and for which there is currently no medical explanation), and I’m still trying to maintain presence and focus on my schooling and my day job in equal measures. I’m cultivating a tender new social life, which is wonderful and frustrating at times. I am deepening my yoga practice while trying to re-learn my own body’s limits when it comes to exercise and physical exertion. I am trying to get my eating habits to a healthy, mindful place. There is an endless stream of things to keep track of, assignments to turn in, people to connect with, appointments to remember. I am trying to be kind to my body while keeping active and energized. Winter is coming (literally, hopefully not figuratively) and I am preparing myself mentally for the cold, dark months ahead.
There is a lot to manage and a lot to look forward to. Looking inward, my ability to take care of myself and practice good self-care over the next 8 months will be crucial to my personal, professional, and relational success. I think I’m ready.
So, yeah, things are not perfect. They never have been. But, they’re good. I have sobriety to thank for much of that. All 800 days of it. 1k, here I come.