I’m here,still sober & kickin’ on this quiet October 1st. It’s getting chilly up here in the North, though we’re due to have an unseasonably warm burst of air midweek. I can’t say I’m ready for winter to make her impending return.
My last year of school is in full swing. I am settled in nicely at my internship, where I’m working among a full team of licensed professionals. I’m begrudgingly trudging my way through a research methods class, holding onto the knowledge that the end really is near. I’m almost there. The end is so close I can taste it. I feel terrified and excited and a little fraudulent, like someone let me in the therapy room and doesn’t know how unqualified I feel (even if, realistically, that’s not the case). At any rate, I’m really, truly almost there. 7 months and counting.
I saw my own therapist tonight. We talked about school, how I feel more at ease with things this year as compared to last, and my hopes looking forward. At one point, we talked about self-care. He asked me what I do for my self-care, to which I replied the usual: working out, trying to sleep well, eating healthfully, meditation, writing. I made note that despite doing all of those things, I’ve had a persistent, long-term tenseness in my body that is causing me a lot of pain, particularly in my neck and shoulders. At its worst, my head feels too heavy for my neck to support; at best, I am mildly uncomfortable, scrunched in my shoulders and neck. It has been like this for months, maybe even a year, and nothing I do physically seems to make it better.
To this, my therapist suggested incorporating self-care that allows me to be cared for by someone else. Of course, therapy is one of those areas, but he suggested giving myself permission to see a chiropractor or massage therapist (or both) more regularly. It makes sense–so much of my self-care is self-driven and solitary. I have social supports, but they cannot ease my aching muscles or readjust my painful spine. I am in no way interested in pain medications or other forms of sedation–like booze–to calm this pain. I’ve pretty much resigned myself to living with it, finding bits of relief where and when I can.
But maybe he’s right. Maybe there’s something more I’m missing–more than social connection, mindfulness, or working out, maybe I need to do some exploration into physical healing services to help me re-learn how to carry my body without experiencing so much pain.
As I’ve got no idea where to start other than the chiropractor’s office, I am going to break my own rule of not fishing for comments and ask: what works for you, dear reader? What kinds of physical healing services have you used and loved–or maybe you tried something and thought it was a load of crap? I’m really looking for some relief. Not a cure-all, but something that might help even a little. My mind is open to your thoughts & suggestions.